The dreams in Aislin's life

And then you wake up in the morning. Afraid of yourself. Because you're not sure any more. Not sure of yourself, not sure of others, not sure of the world.
Not sure in anything any more.
All you've got is the hope that the world isn't some fucked-up dream of somebody who thinks it's you.
Scary?
Maybe it is. Maybe it really is.

But what's the point?
What's the point in anything but the one you have a blood-bond with?
The blood that's invisible, the blood that can't flow, the blood that does not circle in your veins, though it still wonders around you and your body.

I love my brother. He's goddamn important and I don't know why.
And yes, he is my brother. What more could he be?
He's the only brother I have. And, I mean, that's so much more important than even I sometimes think it is.
And that's why I have to look out for him. That's why I have to exist through all of this, cry through everything and be strong in front of all that can cause pain.
And it makes me so goddamn miserable that I can't keep him smiling forever and that I can't make everything bad disappear. I need for him to be happy as he is a part of me, and, as it too often seems, thus more important part than me myself.
Please, brother, be happy.
And I know how hollow the words are, how near and frightening the future is, how much the dreams hurt and how hated the thoughts can be...

And all I can do by myself... Is to stand near him when he's looking around and just being there hurts too much, but I'll never know where you'd fall.
And all that I can do besides that is to cry for you and hope that you feel better about it, without knowing weather this is a one-way road or if you can hear my mind as I hear yours.
So since as long as I can remember - though that does not mean forever, I just don't recall what was before - , every time I've dropped a golden coin into a wishing well, it has been you whom I've wished well. Nothing being more important for me than your happiness.

I know how goddamn hard it is to trust. Even someone with your own blood. So with all sincerity I say that I appreciate every single evidence of which you've given me and without a doubt I promise that I am willing to die for you.

Whatever you might think of me.
I'm willing to die for you.
And you're the only person in the world I'd do it.

Don't think weather you're worth it or not.
What matters is me. For me, that is.
What's between me and you, is blood so thick that it suppresses all others.
I'll guide you, if needed, and look out for you, come what may. Or even beyond, if allowed.

And words are never enough and they're always too misleading as there are never two persons who can read them the same.
And no-one interprets the face behind the candle in the darkness as the one who lit the match.
You're all blinded by the light, you see. But that's ok, as the master of the shadows behind the flame is as blind about you.
But there's no way for you to see her, as there's a glass wall between you and if the candle happens to die, everything disappears to the darkness anyway.

To my brother, my life, my blood
Achai the young warrior
be the future as light to you as your silvermaple bow and eagle-feathered arrows

From you little sister
Aislin
who can cry your tears